I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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