College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
