Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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