Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize