If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
