Got a toothbrush?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
