At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
