With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
