If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
