nut hugger
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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