1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
