And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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