Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Semen is not good for contacts.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
