I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she peed on how many people?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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