your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
