You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
