ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
