i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
