She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
