Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
