Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am one with the molecules
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
