I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
