Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
