So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize