I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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