Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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