well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
