so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
