Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize