yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
