it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he thought i was a dude.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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