WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize