Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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