we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
