her vagine was all disorganized.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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