I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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