and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
