I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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