Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
