hotel room ftw
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
