Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's shark week go big or go home
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
