What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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