Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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