I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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