I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
