all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
