i wish my penis had a tongue
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
