South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
