We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize