This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
