Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
