So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
