Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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