He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
