If that was your dad, he is hot
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
