So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
