does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
