i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
