She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
