He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
