i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
